I am going to share with you the honest truth about the dialogue that went through my head as I started thinking about home education as a viable option and the limiting beliefs I had to overcome in order to allow them to be valid reasons. 

1. 'I don't want to do the school run...'

The concept of dragging my entire family up, out of bed, fed, dressed and out by 8am 😱 - 5 days a week for most of the year - sounded like HELL on a plate. It felt rushed and stressful. Especially with two neurodivergent children - one of which has a meltdown that could fell a mountain if you so much as hint that there's a deadline involved. 

I felt so guilty having this as a lurking reason in my head - like the need to live a slower pace, one that allowed us to wake, eat and start our day without having a huge serving of cortisol for breakfast was lazy, unproductive, a sorry excuse for wanting to keep them home. 

I felt like maybe I was doing them a disservice, not teaching them how to 'cope' with this as they would 'need to get a job one day' and 'they will need to be able to suck it up...'...YUCK. 

LIMITING BELIEFS: That this is what all careers look like, that children need training to be able to hold down a job, that they won't ever choose to push themselves if something matters to them, that they will live at home forever, that everyone will think we are lazy.....the list went on. 

2.  'They won't be able to cope...'

Now, a while before my son was due to start school he was going to nursery 3 days a week. He would come in hot after those days, boisterous, angry, couldn't eat - couldn't fall asleep, couldn't accept any kind of routine. The days in between were just as hard and I was puling my hair out. 

During lockdown in 2020, I realised that my boy was overstimulated by nursery and that when he was allowed the time to wake, eat, sleep, move whenever he needed to - he was a delight, so wicked smart and calm. The thought of putting him into school 5 days a week filled me with dread and I could only see how I would be living with that first child week in, week out.

I felt so guilty though, for not letting him 'have a chance to try' and it took a lot not to think it was just me being overprotective. Now I know home education to be a completely valid form of education that allows him to meet his needs AND his potential - I am so grateful that I sucked up that fear for a while and gave it a try.

3. 'I don't want them to stop loving things that make them unique...'

I could see my beautiful, dinosaur loving, fact spurting, question asking, bonkers, funny climbing and wiggly dancing boy through the eyes of cruel bullies and a curriculum, academia focussed school system. I could see that being told 'stop interrupting with your questions, we're doing this subject right now, not dinosaurs...' would stifle his need to hyperfocus on a subject and dive so deep that he could rival an expert. I could see him desperate to move, to speak, to demonstrate his enthusiasm how he does and being told to sit down, be quiet and focus - making him constantly wonder if he was enough as he came, or whether he should bend and break to fit into the mould they made for him. 

As someone who has ADHD and likely autism, having found this out as an adult in my 30's and seeing my life flash before my eyes in a series of self-denying moments. All the ways I felt 'not enough' and desperate to fit in, all the ways I feared the rejection of a teacher or parent and fought hard to have good grades, good behaviour and not rock the boat. All the ways that I ticked the boxes of a 'good girl' at school and carried that through to a people pleasing, perfectionist adulthood that had me stuck in a job, a lifestyle, a self belief system that did not serve me. I was determined not to let this play out the same way for my kids.

I wanted them free to be authentic, to love what they love and have no reason to feel silly for it, to focus on what drives them and ultimately lead them into an adulthood that allowed them to do the kind of jobs, be in the kind of relationships that made them feel GREAT. 

4. 'I don't want them to value one kind of intelligence over another...'

There are some impressive scholars out there who stress how damaging it is that schools prioritise academia over creativity. I hadn't long found my old art folder from school, some of the only work I saved from my teen years - it meant far more to me than any essay I wrote. What I hadn't realised until I found myself browsing through it one day, was how GOOD it was. The time and attention to detail I had put into it. 

I didn't know that I was actually good at art and as art is something that allows me so much mindful, peace inspiring joy - I was gutted that I hadn't realised, hadn't felt it was ok to prioritise that joy and maybe even seek a career in it. 

I was so worried that my children would again, end up in a situation where what they loved, were good at, wanted to practice - would be side-lined to serve the academic agenda.

As a parent, the limiting beliefs I have had to overcome as a home educator is not to prioritise my own agenda over their learning. That I can include things that I feel matter and inspire them with interesting conversations, places, books, topics - but that stopping them from going down their own snake researching rabbit hole to stop and do some maths is not the way to go about it. They need me to prioritise THEIR interests and build that stuff in subtly around it to ensure they understand that their interests and goals are just as important - if not more so. 

5. 'I want to go on holiday whenever I want...'

It does seem crazy, to choose to home educate with the thought in mind that honestly, I just want to be free to learn, rest, play, get outside, watch telly and go on holiday whenever we chuffing well want - but it was one of my BIGGEST driving factors. 

In the world we live in today, cost of living crisis and all, having the flexibility and not being FINED for crying out loud, to experience connection, freedom, curiosity together as a family whenever we want to is vital to me. Not just because it costs a 10th of what it costs to go away during the holidays, but because holidays or day trips add sooo much contextual value to their learning. They are some of THE best ways to inspire children - to get them moving, off screens and engaged with their surroundings. I am always blown away by what they get up to on holiday.

To Summarise

When we choose to send our children to school we have to seriously consider what we are sacrificing - both for us and them. We are human beings first, cogs in the system second - we have needs to meet and when we allow someone else to set the curriculum, the schedule and fine us, put us in detention, mark us down, humiliate us or make us feel less than in any way for not adhering to it - we are sacrificing a part of our innate human rights. We were trained to fear choosing freedom, authenticity, being different - our goals are so often aligned with 'fitting in' and it's time we realised how bloody good it feels to 'stand out' instead. 

About the Author

I am Kelly, a home educating parent of 2, with ADHD. I coach parents on how to transform their OWN journey within home education to embrace their own joy and find a balance that means they can keep their cool, have space, hobbies, boundaries, and banish limiting beliefs that cause them to burn out home educating their kids time and again!

If you would love to work together, you can reach out via my work with me page—or find out more about my story here.