It's that time, we are headed into the October half term and despite most of us reeling from a year of financial crisis and endless work demands, trying to manage or make the best of endless parenting challenges, we are all doing that thing that we do....

Where we see clubs/classes on pause for half term and we are looking at ways to fill that time - we want to pick pumpkins and bake cookies and make costumes and trick or treat, or maybe you celebrate one of the other many many holidays that are peppered through this window that means that most families - no matter the already bulging calendars, are seeing where all this extra 'fun' can slot in.

I realised last week that I hardly ever grant myself a 'week off' - we don't take a proper half term break - except maybe at Christmas - and so I spend the year relentlessly home educating, working, housekeeping and problem solving - all with a fun side note of ADHD perfectionism and people pleasing that I battle daily to put to one side!

So I did a post asking you if you are feeling in a bit of a tizzy too and I was greeted with an overwhelming response! I am definitely not alone, and so, the...

Super Selfish Slowdown was born!

I will be chatting to you guys over the next couple weeks about slowing down, about burnout, about resentment and frustration and sadness and all the things that happen we ask ourselves to be constantly 'selfless' (let's face it with a bit of a gritted teeth attitude alongside it.) 

The solution is simple, but you may want some guidance - if so then come follow me over on TikTok because I am going to go live this Sunday, 27th October at 8pm to help you figure out how you are going to slow down your half term - even if its all planned already - and I want you to check in on my posts as I break it down step by step for you over the week. Come follow me: @banish.home.ed.burnout and I will see you through! 

For now, here's step 1:

1. Grab a piece of paper and divide it into 7 columns, one for each day.
2. Time block it in red the things that are immoveable - can't be cancelled - work, survival stuff like feeding everyone, etc. 
3. Mark in orange anything you have planned that feels 'immoveable' but truly you could cancel it if push came to shove - notice the sensations in your body around this - the guilt, the feeling you'd be disappointing others, letting them down, when actually you might be feeling equal feelings of disappointment, being let down at the idea of doing them - its scary really! How often are you planning things like this?? 
4. Everything else that's happening in your week can be written in another colour - anything that could easily be flexed or changed or cancelled entirely.

Once you reach this point, feel free to have the cry that I needed to have because suddenly it makes you realise how much time is truly available to you if you don't intentionally start carving some out!

Likely not a lot!

So that is exactly what we are going to do - even if its just one hour - but ideally we want to do this to the WHOLE WEEK - which is a lot, so hear me out.

Chances are you haven't taken a week for you in very long time, most of us don't have the luxury of asking family to have them for extended periods or childcare, nor can we afford expensive holiday camps - and even if we could, our children may have needs that mean we can't access them.

If your children do have additional needs, you might be scowling at me right now, but I want you to know that when you take a beat to actually do something for you, even if that does temporarily dysregulate your kids, you are going to feel an overwhelming love for yourself that allows you to actually do something about challenges you are just 'slogging through' right now. I know, because I know....

Ultimately your task is to take a look at that week and see if you can do any of the following:

1. Cancel it, get rid entirely, its not important enough that if you did it it would make a huge impact so it can go. 

2. If it can't be cancelled - can it be made simpler? Can you buy cookies to decorate instead of make them, can you plan it for a time when you have help, can you make just one type of cookie instead of 5 different designs? 

3. If it can't be made simpler, or even if it can, can it also be made better? Can you get yourself some new wellies so you don't get wet feet on the field, can you take a great coffee to keep you warm, can you make sure you've built some time in around it to make it so it isn't a rush? Or so that you can really relax that afternoon with a hot chocolate and a movie?

The more things you apply this to, the slower and more connected to yourself and your kids it will be. The more freedom you will taste, the more rest you will experience, the more opportunity to observe and notice what is going on for your kids.

You deserve to feel good too, you aren't supposed to be run ragged day in, day out. 

This isn't what life is supposed to look like and truly, do you want your kids to reach adulthood and think what you are experiencing is what they are supposed to do to make their kids happy too???

I know I don't!

So let's ease up on ourselves, on them, on the world domination for a moment and just exist in our own skin for a week, together, intentionally, and see whether something sticks!

Comment or drop me a line to tell me what you plan on tweaking! [email protected].